“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”
~ Charles Bukowski

DO NOT FOLLOW ME
by Carl Josehart

Do not follow me where I go
for I am not Moses
Abraham
Aaron
or even Job

My faith falters and stumbles
falls and rises
sometimes unpredictably

I raise the knife to Isaac
then tremble at the blindness of my faith
and how close it brought me to destruction

I question a god that tests through suffering
and measures faith
or demands us to forego the intellect so generously bestowed

I demand explanation, reparation and comfort
as my brothers die
good lives cut short – voices once raised in praise
now weep good-byes and yearn for peace

Do not follow me where I go
for my path leads not to salvation
Abraham was the first to see unity in god
but divided his house and sent away a lover and son
then sacrificed his parenthood again with Isaac

Aaron fashioned a golden calf
and danced with a frightened people whose
leader had climbed a mountain to converse with god
faltering faith
he was the one to lead the priestly clan

Job
a righteous man
taunted for sport
loses all he loves then is rewarded
tears of sadness and joy
still fall on the graves of his family
where is their reward for being pawns in a master plan

Do not follow me where I go
for I do not know whether to charge up the mountain
or run away

Who shall lead us now
to a place we have not been
to a place we cannot yet even imagine
do we yet need to weather the floods of Noah
that will destroy all but a remnant
to see the rainbow of peace and promise
a new covenant

Do not follow me where I go
it seems we have had enough of following

Join me in my wandering if you will
where we lay we’ll call home
where we pray we’ll call sanctuary
where we love we’ll call heaven

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