Everything Has Its Place

Everything Has Its Place
by Carl Josehart

Straightening up the apartment
my mother’s words
echo in my head,
“Everything has its place,”
she’d say
and she was right
but not the way I thought back then

straightening up the apartment
I realized
the state of my apartment
mimics the state of my inner world
messy psyche
dirty pots
lack of integration
leads to lack of organization

straightening up the apartment
my mother’s words echo in my head
“Everything has its place,”
she’d say
and she was right
and I struggle to find a place for everything

too many sweaters
and I wonder what it was I
desperately was trying to cover
and I wonder about
a cold that couldn’t be warmed

so many old bills and bank statements
and I wonder about ledgers
and debts in my life
and I wonder what it was I was
urgently trying to repay
so many old debts
and I wonder about
the obligations which can’t be paid

piles of dirty dishes and dirty laundry
and I wonder about what it was I
couldn’t wash
piles of dirty dishes and stained clothes
and I wonder about
the rotting of bodies that cannot be healed
and stains that blot my soul

straightening up the apartment
my mother’s words
echo in my head
and I wonder
if I’ll find places for everything
layers of discarded sweaters
a place for warmth
boxes of cancelled checks
a place for forgiveness of old debts
shelves for old dishes and stained clothes
a place for honoring hurts that cannot be healed
and me
a place to feel, “Everything has its place”
a place to feel
at home

 

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