It is customary to visit the cemetery before the Jewish High Holy Days but it is something that I struggle with. I have never found that place to hold any particular meaning for me but always wonder if I am being disrespectful by not going.

Grief is complicated and neverending. It has been decades since my parents died and I still pick up the phone to call them.

I Visit Your Grave

by Carl Josehart

I visit your grave
not often
Is that OK?
I wish I knew how I should feel
Or what to say
But you see I really don’t believe you’re here
And I don’t want to remember you this way
So, I don’t come often
And when I do
I look for a connection and remember the coffin
As they lowered into the ground
Without my help and not much sound
I remember watching to be sure you were OK
Not remembering you were dead even after a day
Or a month or even a year
Now Seven
Separated by days and miles and may a tear

I visit your grave
not often
God, I hope that’s OK
But you are with me now
Part of my life each and every day
And in that way, I really believe you’re still here
not there
In the ground
out of reach
and safely hidden away

~1989

You may also appreciate Too Soon  and This Place