I Called You Today

 

Arguing with My Inner Pessimist

Have you ever found yourself jumping to conclusions and imagining the worst possible outcome. I have mastered this skill and raised it to an artform.

A few years ago, I called my husband at work and he anxiously told me he couldn’t talk and hung up on me. When I called and texted him back a few minutes later he didn’t answer.

Within an hour of still not being able to reach him,  I had convinced myself that there had been a break-in at his office. I was overwhelmed with the thought that he had been shot and was lying on the floor helpless and bleeding to death.

Grabbing my keys, I hopped into the car and drove to his office to rescue him. As I was pulling in to the parking lot near where he worked my phone rang and it was him – he was safe at home (of course) and was looking for me and wondering where I was.

“I am at your office, saving your life” I calmly replied.

“That’s sweet” he replied, “when your done please come home – love you.”


I Called You Today
by Carl Josehart

I called you at work today
What about I couldn’t say
You were busy and couldn’t wait
I have a terrible feeling it may be too late

We promised each other forever
That we would tackle the world – together
Now there’s tension, and sadness, and fear at home
I lie awake some nights afraid to be alone

Can it work, should we fight?
Together can we make it right?
Questions always echo through my mind
It’s the answers I really wish I could find

Someday, we may look back and laugh
If we choose, and pick the right path
If we don’t, I think I may go insane
It might be easier than facing the pain

Then of me, they’ll often say
It was losing a lover that that made him that way
He was bright, and handsome, successful and gay
It doesn’t seem right it was such a high price to pay

And, as for me, I’ll crawl inside
Close the door, and begin to hide
No people, no pets, nothing to care about
No friends, no family, no reason to go out

I’ll spend my time wishing and dreaming
Followed by some planning and scheming
And then I’ll read, or write, a book
Perhaps give Shakespeare a second look

When my days are done, and it’s time to die
I probably will breathe out a heavy sigh
Take one last look, and say goodbye
To no one there, no one to cry

The phone is ringing; I hope it’s you…


 

Anchors and Sailboats

Anchors and Sailboats
by Carl Josehart

strong, virile winds
impregnate beautiful
billowy
white sails

grasping the
rudder
mother of endless possibilities
pointing out to sea

straining against a
hereditary anchor
imagining
motion, distance
new ports

anchor broken
catapulted forward
fear washers over excitement
desperately seeking
the spot
where the anchor lies hidden
below

straining against the
strong
virile winds
to stay
sentinel to mark
an anchor
well needed

shuddering at the
presence of endless possibilities
adrift
unable to reckon direction
motion without mission
distance without destination

pregnant moments
fill precious time
long labor
birth
a dream of the future