I Remember Wanda

 

Trigger warning: language, racial slur


I Remember Wanda
by Carl Josehart

I remember Wanda
she’s the one who thought she was a turtle
and demanded we call her,
“Turtle”

I met Wanda when I worked at a school for
cast off children with
garbage dump lives
refuse of society

clutching her purse,
one day,
she screamed at me across
miles of misunderstanding
and missed opportunities

“Suck my cock!”
and then called me a,
“white chocolate nigger”

we used to collect
words
hurtled at us like
harpoons
the only way the
children had to
teach us about their
pain

we’d save them and
play with them
pretending we didn’t
feel the sting of these
well targeted missiles

I guess if I lived in her world
I’d be a turtle too
a hard strong shell to
protect me when
words fall like rain
and soak the soul
in silent suffering and pain

Wanda…I remember


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Non-Dairy Dreamy Delight

Non-Dairy Dreamy Delight
by Carl Josehart

Lactose free!
the invitation read
and I wondered where in the hell Lactose was
and whether the Lactosians
were fighting for their freedom
from and oppressive government
that infringed on their personal liberties

Free Lactose!
I took up the chant
wanting to be
politically correct
I made up banners
and flyers
led protest marches
and even started to collect money
to help resettle refugees from Lactose

Lactose free!
a dream come true
a land flowing with
soy-milk and honey
“Better-Than Cream Cheese”
in every market
and Norman Rockwell Thanksgivings
minus the butter in the mashed potatoes
in every home
Power to the People – Free Lactose!


The call for freedom is catching on – now Gluten is seeking freedom as well!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving
by Carl Josehart

For these things I give thanks
Food in abundance
A safe place to stay
Family and friends who surround me with love
And a sense of order and caring, and a belief in God, in the heavens above

For these things I pray
Food in abundance – for those who are hungry
A safe and warm place to stay – for those who are out in the cold
Family and friends – for those who are without love
And a sense of order and caring, and a belief in God, in the heavens above

For all these things were given to the people of the earth
Along with laughter and gaiety, and mirth
With all that was given – the knowledge of good and evil was taken
But, it seems, the responsibility that accompanies that power has been forsaken
We have forsaken family and friends, and those who need us to surround them with love
Along with a sense of order and caring, and a belief in God, in the heavens above


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Wings of Love

Wings of Love
by Carl Josehart

Without maps to guide us
through the oft unchartered paths of life
we met on wings of love
before our hearts had learned to fly

exhilarated by the thrill of flight
we soared too near the sun
waxen wings melting
falling from heaven
mortal again to walk on the earth

I often think of you
and I
soaring through time and space
like gods
like me
together
Always


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Sometimes

Sometimes
by Carl Josehart

Sometimes he calls to me sweetly in the middle of the night
His voice still gently echoing as I greet the morning light
Sometimes he cries for me bitterly clutches me and holds me tight
Sometimes I wish for him eagerly – trying to summon him with all my might

Sometimes I come to him needing his love, his touch, his kiss
When he accepts me, and loves me, it seems like perfect bliss
Sometimes he turns away from me angrily with a hiss
Sometimes I imagine him holding me – trying to make up for the caress I want and miss

Sometimes he storms up to me and boldly takes my hand
And leads me off, curious about what mischief he may have planned
Sometimes it will be to the beach to run barefoot in the sand
Sometimes to listen to music played by his favorite band

Sometimes I find him sitting quietly alone
Our lying in bed, crying, staring at the phone
Sometimes I can comfort him with my touch and reassuring words spoken in quiet tones
Sometimes the best I can do is hold him and try to make his pain my own

Sometimes we go gently into the stillness of the night
Often we rest easily til we are woken by the coming of morning’s light
Sometimes we fear the dying, lie awake, and hold each other tight
Sometimes we fear from the our weakness, and other times, from our might


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Memories

Memories
by Carl Josehart

Memories of the future make their way slowly into my mind
Repetitious images of my life in times yet to come
I am moving back and forth through space and time
Not knowing how to find my way to them or how to return to where I’m from

Suspended, now am I, unable to find roost – just to fly
Knowing in my dreams where I am meant to be
Remembering failures and how hard it was to try
Comforted, in those times, by what I told myself the future had for me

Muddled and confused, I wonder what is real and what a dream
Unable to separate for myself fantasy from fact
I look for a source of knowledge to tell me what it means
Hoping I will find it while my life is still intact

But reality seems to change as I move from place to place
Each embracing me for the moment – then turning it fades away
Is reality so fragile that it shatters when I avert my face?
Or, is it that I haven’t learned to hold it firmly, and make it want to stay

Wishes so old have become memories
The future so long awaited is now the past
Dreams too weak to live must now be grieved
The present is all that is left for me – I hope I can make it last


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Reach

Reach
by Carl Josehart

Reach for distant shores
my little one
sea shells
gentle waves
sandy shores
sunny days
a peaceful earth

Reach for high hills
my beautiful one
twinkling stars
snow capped peaks
the moon at night
the sun at mid-day

Reach for God in heaven
my child, symbol of hope
angels ascending and descending on Jacob’s ladder
surrounded by divine protection
hugged by your parents’ loving embrace

Reach high
my young one
and wide
and far
your fragile little body
the next link in an ancient chain
your expanding intellect
the storehouse to come our national treasures
your unblemished heart
full of compassion and love
your perfect soul
full of wonder and praise

Reach
Grow
Fly


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